Saturday, February 28, 2015

I'm ready for Spring!

I can’t believe it’s just about March 1st.  Even more, I can’t believe that spring is literally just around the corner!  Spring Break starts next weekend and while I know ‘technically’ it’s not spring yet, you better believe we’ll be outside getting our yard decked out in our spring (and summer) ‘flair’ during Andrew’s holiday from school!  I’m so excited, I can hardly wait to have my decorative bird houses out, and Andrew and I picked up some super cute little tulip solar lights from the dollar store on a mommy/son outing last night.  I can’t wait to get those set up!  Fingers crossed we have more of the nice sunny weather during spring break that we’ve been having lately.  It could be a few degrees warmer, but the sunshine and blue skies has been such a treat.  (And I know we’re lucky compared to eastern Canada, so I shouldn’t even say ‘it could be a few degrees warmer,’ it has been so mild here!)

We had Ramona washed today.  (Our van).  I love having a clean van!  We spent most of the day with James’ dad/partner.  We hadn’t seen them for a while.  The fil’s significant other is allergic to cats so she can’t visit our house after a bad flare up from the last time, so our Xmas gift to them was a night’s stay at a hotel nearby with the idea that we could visit with them there.  It worked out well, we had pizza from our favourite pizza place delivered right to the room, and we brought enough toys to keep the kids entertained.  Andrew had his last drama class in the late afternoon so we all headed to the park and the girls got to run around while I saw Andrew’s class performance.  It was a group of about 10 5-7 year olds and they did a little play of The Three Billy Goats Gruff and The Three Little Pigs.  Andrew was the troll under the bridge for the first play, and the Big Bad Wolf for the second one.  LOL  He’s obsessed with villains, what can I say?!  

It felt like we didn’t do THAT much today and yet James and I were completely BEAT by the time the kids were going to bed.  Andrew crashed at 7pm, when he normally goes to bed around 8:30.  The girls went to bed at 7:45, after I read them Beauty and the Beast, but they didn’t fall asleep till about 8:15 or a bit later.  Margaret is terrible about going to sleep, even when she’s said she wants to go to bed!  She keeps getting out of bed constantly and we have to be stern and close the door till she promises to go to bed...and eventually she actually does.  But it’s a process.  But one thing I can proudly say is that after literally TWO DAYS the girls are completely done with bottles!  It took no time at all.  We’ve been giving them a sippy cup of milk before nap or bed time to have on the couch before heading to bed, but truthfully I don’t think we’ll necessarily continue that unless they ask for a drink before bed, because tonight Margaret only had a couple of sips of hers and the rest is in the fridge now for tomorrow.  They really don’t need it in the way we were so accustomed to giving it to them.  While we’ll still be giving them milk at times it’s going to be AMAZING not going through 4L jugs of milk every few days like we were.  And knowing that if we DID run out of milk it wouldn’t be a total disaster eases my mind!  What a milestone.





Thursday, February 26, 2015

No more bottles!

We’re finally phasing out bottles in our house, or, ‘baba’s’ as the girls call them.  Margaret and Emily will be two and a half soon enough (crazy, right?!) and they’re past due for giving up their bottles.

This is foreign territory for us, because Andrew was never attached to bottles.  He exclusively breastfed till 18.5 months and when I phased that out, the whole milk thing was over!  He started drinking cow’s milk, but only from a sippy cup, and never as a means of comfort.  It was a different type of transition, and probably also seemed easier because he was an only child.  With an older child and then the logistics of twins, it sometimes seems more challenging to do things.  And we sometimes allow certain things to go on longer than we would otherwise because sleep is such an issue for us.  

I tend to find transitions that we think will be ridiculously hard are actually not all that bad once we actually get started on them.  Emily probably could have given up her baba a while back.  In fact, as much as I know she does find comfort in it, she has what she wants of it and then tosses it aside and doesn’t want to think about it after that.  Margaret, on the other hand...Oh, Margaret!  She has so many sleep issues, and her baba seems to be just one thing of many.  She finishes her baba and then wants it filled with water...sometimes several times throughout the night.  It got to the point where she was having to have her diaper changed sometimes twice before morning, which is CRAZY.  And it’s not like it was even soothing her.  No, Margaret is almost 2.5 and she literally gets up EVERY NIGHT an average of 10 times.  Sometimes more, rarely less.  No exaggeration.  This is what we are up against.  We have a 6 year old and two 2 year olds and it’s as if we have a newborn baby in the house.

We’re working on getting a better system going, and one thing is cutting out drinking at night.  The way we see it, if you have something to drink before bed, there’s no reason why you should be thirsty the whole night through.  Margaret has been accustomed to having something by her bed for so long, but on the other hand so has Emily, and she has managed to cut it out quite easily.  I think Margaret is just stronger-willed, and also doesn’t appear to need nearly as much sleep as her sister does.  She’s so much like her brother, and in so many ways…

I’m happy to be phasing out bottles, but it’s also kind of sad, in a sentimental sort of way.  It’s the end of an era.  But it’s time, and I’m hoping that once Margaret has got used to this new chapter she will start to sleep for longer stretches through the night...One can hope, right?!

Sunday, February 22, 2015

Gung Hay Fat Choy

We live in a very Asian neighbourhood, and I’m guessing that the vast majority of the kids in Andrew’s school are Chinese.  When I was in school (in a much smaller city that at the time seemed to have few Chinese people - in fact there wasn’t all that much cultural diversity when I was a small child) we heard about Chinese New Year but it was never something we would think to celebrate, even in school it was rarely even talked about that I can remember.  So I’d never really thought to celebrate it until Andrew asked why we don’t, because they were doing activities to honour it at his school.  His class made little paper lanterns with goats on them (in honour of the year of the goat) (I hung his up in our kitchen, and he also made me one for Valentine’s Day) and they sang a song called ‘Lantern Bright’ in front of their whole school for their Chinese New Year assembly last week.  They sang it in Chinese, and while he practiced for the big performance the past few weeks, Andrew taught the song to me (and the girls can even sing part of it, too!)

Because of his interest this year and the things he’s been learning at school, I thought it would be fun to take Andrew to the Chinese New Year festivities in Vancouver’s Chinatown today.  My brother and sil live on the cusp on Chinatown, so he and I took the skytrain downtown (which in and of itself was an adventure...we used to transit everywhere together before we got our van (and had twins), but I almost never transit anywhere anymore so it was a different experience for Andrew and I - he’s used to bussing with James but not with me since he was 3.5!) and went for a little visit at my bro’s before we headed out to the celebrations.

I’d wanted to take Andrew into one of the shops to get him a little Chinese trinket, but we didn’t see anything that made sense for him, and then during the parade he got a lot of little red envelopes with candy inside, some tattoos and stickers, and a couple of gold chocolate coins, so that seemed like a pretty good array of stuff.  We didn’t bother to find a spot and just stay there waiting for the parade to begin, Andrew was happy to just wander about and we ended up finding a good spot where a nice father of 3 kids offered to let Andrew sit on the curb in front of where they were standing, so he got a really good view (and that’s when he also scored all the loot!)  Some of the time he also spent on my shoulders for a better view, when we were wandering around.  It was a good parade, a lot bigger than I’d expected it to be.  We saw lots of cool dragons (of course), fire crackers, some cool martial arts, and several familiar faces from the news, which was kind of cool.

Once Andrew had seen enough we were both feeling quite hungry so we hit up HON’s for some yummy Chinese food.  One of the dishes we ordered was stir fried broccoli with minced garlic and it was seriously the best broccoli I’ve ever eaten.  Of course, by that point we were both so hungry that I think it tasted extra delicious because we needed food so badly.  We shared several dishes, with enough left over to bring home so we could all have it for supper (which was awesome, because that meant I didn’t have to make dinner!)  We really had a fun time together and Andrew seemed to genuinely enjoy himself.

We popped back over to my bro and sil’s for a little visit before heading on our way back to the ‘burbs, so I got to see my bulldog nieces and one of my kitty nieces as well.  

I think what was most special about the day for me was that Andrew and I did something new and different for our mommy/son time.  We’re usually at home and if we do go anywhere it’s to the dollar store or something along those lines, which there’s nothing wrong with but it’s not exactly a cultural adventure!  This felt like something special to do together, and it was a beautiful sunny day, too, which definitely added to the whole experience.  I’m so glad that we were able to go, and have some quality mom and boy time, while James had some quality time at home with the girls.

Friday, February 20, 2015

A day with Emily

(Written yesterday)

My mil is moving to the island in one week.  (Long story).  Today she had Margaret for the day, so while Andrew was in school it was just me and Emily.

I haven’t been to Costco in ages, and my mom wanted to go, too, so I thought it was a good time to renew my membership.  We went for shorty after the store opened and I kind of remembered why I always hesitate to shop at Costco.  I love the different stuff I can get there, but omg people are SO ANNOYING there and there’s NEVER a time to go that isn’t insanely busy.  I spent WAY more than I anticipated but I guess we’re well stocked on certain items, and have a bunch of things we don’t normally get.

Emily was really good, although she didn’t seem to like it if I strayed too far from the cart.  So we pretty much all stuck together, which was fine.  She’s such a good-natured girl, though.  I felt so at ease shopping with her and she was content to get a little ice cream at the end with my mom while I got all the groceries organized in the van.

She was about an hour and a bit overdue for her nap when she finally went for it, but didn’t show any signs of being overtired. And when she went down for her nap, she didn’t once try to get up and turn nap time into a huge production (unlike someone else I know *cough cough* Margaret!!)

I actually had to wake her up in order to have some cuddle time with her before it was time to go pick Andrew up from school.  I find it rare that she and I have proper one-on-one cuddle time because Margaret tends to take over and then Emily feels upset that she’s not my sole focus and then our cuddles are cut short.  (Not to say I don’t love cuddling both my girls equally because I do, they both offer amazing hugs and I always remind them that I have enough arms and enough lap to cuddle both at once, but sometimes it’s nice for that one-on-one bonding time!)  We had our cuddles, and then went to pick Andrew up from school and went back over to my mom and dads’.

Emily was so good about playing on her own and just getting into the groove of what she was doing.  Margaret tends to go more from one thing to the next, and particularly loves to have her shows on, and she’s very particular about what show it has to be at any given time.  Emily, on the other hand, loves toys, could go completely without tv I am sure of it, and is very meticulous about how she plays with her toys.  It’s amazing how different a set of twins can truly be, although at the same time they also (mostly) get along quite well and giggle together and love to be close.  Emily asked MANY times throughout the day, ‘Where did Margaret go?’ even though she knew exactly where she was.  They’re just so used to always being together!

Emily was such a little angel today and I really found it made a huge difference in how I felt.  She’s just so good-natured and happy-go-lucky and I enjoyed her cuddles and hugs and kisses and stroking her hair and telling her how much I love her.  Which I do with the kids every day, but there was something nice about how quiet it was today and how we were able to just enjoy that time together the two of us.

My mil was coming over tonight so I was out and avoiding her.  (Long story, though pretty much not at all unlike times in the past...sigh).  As a result, I didn’t see Margaret till a few hours ago when she first woke up as per her usual nightly ritual.  Even though the day was definitely ‘easier’ with only one child for most of it, and in particular Emily given she is the ‘easier’ of the two, I sure missed Margaret, and was happy to give (and receive) love and cuddles when she got up.  She saw me and gave me the biggest, most genuine smile, and I returned the favour, because I knew we were genuinely so happy to see each other again, even if it had only been the day we’d been apart!

Andrew has gone for his last sleep over tonight at his nana’s before she moved (because it’s a pro-d day tomorrow).  We have some good plans for the weekend, and even though I know it will all probably go by too fast and I’ll still be completely exhausted by the end of it, I want to embrace it all and enjoy it for what it is.

Friday, February 13, 2015

A week in review

Are we the only family that doesn’t do something huge for Valentine’s day?!  Everyone’s talking about all these grand plans they have.  I printed off little ‘vintage’ valentines I found online, one each for James and the kids, and wrote a little message on the back.  James is getting a little thing of cinnamon hearts (that I expect he will share with the kids and me, ha!) and the kids are each getting a very small heart shaped box of chocolates.  I don’t want to go all out and do something extravagant for Valentine’s day because truth be told the kids will come to expect it.  I remember as a child we did school Valentines and at home we got a little box of chocolates (like I got the kids) and maybe some stickers or something.  It felt like a ‘special’ day without having to be all about ‘what we got’ so I don’t want to turn it into a hugely commercial event in our household.

We did make some cute Valentines for Andrew’s class for his first year in school.  We made them in Photoshop, Andrew and I (on my birthday!) with a picture of Yoda and beside him it says, ‘Yoda Perfect Friend!  Happy Valentine’s Day!’  Where Yoda’s lightsabre is I cut a little hole and we added a glow stick.  Apparently the kids quite liked them.  The class was also having a little party to celebrate Valentine’s day and we were asked to provide a ‘healthy-ish snack’ in a colour scheme that would match Valentine’s day.  I usually make a healthy muffin and add some icing or do something to make it seem unhealthy and ‘fun’ for the kids but in fact it IS a healthy snack.  Unfortunately I was just feeling so tired/busy/unable to come up with something for the occasion this time, so my parents picked up some mini cupcakes for us and we took those.  About 6 other parents did the same thing, however, so there was an overload of cupcakes.  LOL!  Oh well.  The kids enjoyed them and come on, it’s Valentine’s, it’s not exactly meant to be a healthy holiday.  We stayed till recess today and the girls enjoyed watching a bit of Frozen with Andrew’s class, and had some cupcakes at 9 o’clock in the morning.

I of course haven’t written since shortly after my birthday, but wanted to mention that my birthday DID feel redeemed in that last Sunday James and I were able to go on a much needed date and it ended up being a great experience (although far too short, and even my parents said they expected we’d be home much later so next time we are taking full advantage of being out for many hours!!)  We tried out a new restaurant in our area, and before we went James reminded me not to get my hopes up, and to leave my ‘critiquing of the place’ till after we got home (because apparently I am picky and not shy about it?!)  It didn’t matter though, because while we were still at the restaurant I was giving the whole experience a 10 out of 10, and I seriously NEVER do that!  It turned out to be a perfect combination.  They were still doing Dine Out Vancouver and James and I have never partaken in a DOV before.  The server we had was really great, thorough, and seemed to genuinely care about the restaurant, which gave it a more personal touch.  The atmosphere was nice, and the food was DELICIOUS.  It was an interesting combination but worked so well together and I LOVED it.  I felt full enough but not grossly full, it was just the right amount.  It felt like it was my birthday even though it was several days after the fact.  And normally we don’t have an appy, main and dessert so I loved the Dine Out Vancouver experience because we got a little taste of everything without breaking the bank!

It feels like so long ago already that we went on that date, truthfully.  It was less than a week ago in actual fact.  Then Monday was BC’s Family Day so James had the day off, which was nice.  On Tuesday after school I took the kids to my parents’ place so the girls could stay there while I took Andrew for his immunizations.  I’m still appalled that he had to have them AGAIN when I am positive he already had them, but anyway.  They are for sure done now.  He was a bit out of sorts in terms of pain in his arm (it was red and hot) for a couple of days but today he mentioned that it felt completely fine, and given that he’s a bit of a hypochondriac that really means it must be better!

Wednesday I can’t even remember, which reminds me why I wish I recorded things each day...Thursday morning we went to a friend’s house (who has 2 kids) for a visit/playdate which was a lot of fun.  The girls were thrilled and couldn’t stop chatting back and forth in their seats behind me on the way home about how much FUN it was!  Emily was telling me how much she LOVES the little boy, it was super cute.  We’re planning on having more play dates moving forward, especially since we live so close to each other.  In the evening I went to Ikea with my mom and got knobs for the downstairs bathroom (to match the kitchen knobs...and btw I finished painting the cupboards in the downstairs bathroom so my dad will add the knobs next time he’s over but it’s otherwise done, and I LOVE it so much!  Hoping to get the upstairs bathroom done within the next couple of weeks).  I also got 2 (super cheap, I couldn’t pass them up) dining chairs to have for the girls’ booster seats (more so right now for during the day when they want to paint or colour, but for now we’re still having them in their high chairs for dinner because I’m not super keen on them grabbing everything from the table at this point if they were sitting right at it).  I got a few other odds and ends, too, because I can’t seem to go to Ikea without getting a few things that weren’t on my list, but I ‘needed’ every item that I got, of course =)

Sunday, February 08, 2015

Another birthday's come and gone

I didn’t write about my birthday...I still sort of feel like not writing about it.  I didn’t have a problem with turning 35, it’s more that it didn’t really feel like it was my birthday for most of the day.  I don’t need my entire birthday to be all-about-me as if I’m still a little kid where I’m super excited about my ‘big day.’  I don’t know exactly what it is that I feel I need, but I have to admit that my last 3 birthdays in particular have been less than desirable.  In fact, I sort of have wished on each of those birthdays that it wasn’t my birthday at all so I wouldn’t have to feel bad about my day just being average.  Is that bad of me to say?!


James worked from home, but he did have to work, so ultimately I was on my own with the kids as per usual.  He did take Andrew to school for me, although that was in part because I was sick.  Oh yes, how could I forget, I also felt really under the weather on my birthday.  I was over the worst of the flu, but had come down with a cold.  I did end up going out for a few hours in the early afternoon, which I probably shouldn’t have, but I NEEDED to get out of the house.  I’d basically been cooped up for just under a week due to all our illnesses, and I was going stir crazy.  I was originally supposed to drive kids to skating for Andrew’s class but the teacher found someone else since my cold was pretty bad, and that meant I technically had those few hours where James was going to be watching the girls anyways so I could drive the kids.  So instead I went to the mall and used up most of the Sears gift card I got for Christmas from Margaret and Emily.  It was SO nice to be able to get a new outfit and it was already paid for with a bit left over for next time!  I got a pretty new top and a new pair of black leggings (because, yes, I often wear leggings, and the ones I usually wear got ripped when Fiona decided to jump on me and scratched through them…!)


I also had a short visit with my mom at her place.  It hadn’t been planned that I would see my parents at all but I didn’t like not at least seeing my mom for a little while on my birthday.  Originally the plan was that my parents were going to spend time with the kids while James and I went out for dinner, but given that we ALL had some variation of the cold, I didn’t want to risk my parents getting it.  So my birthday celebrating was basically cancelled.  I guess I felt a little sad that there wasn’t a cake or candle to blow out...Again, it’s not so much that I NEED those things, but I guess the fact that none of it happened felt symbolic to me.  I know it was basically because of illness that it got called off, but I also feel like it just puts it in my face how I feel sort of lost in the shadows so to speak.  I love my kids and obviously would much rather have them than a birthday cake, but now that I am a mother of 3 I feel like celebrating ‘me’ doesn’t even make sense anymore.  I don’t think I’m explaining it right, but I admittedly felt a bit sad on my birthday, and maybe was having a bit of a pity party, and clearly no one else was showing up to my party!!


James and the kids DID spoil me with some gifts and that did make me feel special, because there was clearly thought put into it.  First of all, James gave me a really sweet card, Andrew made me a cute one with a little poem he wrote for it, and the girls even scribbled on paper and then James made cards out of them for me.  I also got a new purse (something I’ve been wanting for a while and loved having James pick out for me!) and inside each compartment there was another little gift, such as an eyeliner (shocked James was able to pick one out that I would like!!), bubble bath, hand sanitizer (to keep in the purse), some Werther’s candies.  So it’s not like my birthday wasn’t birthday-ish at all...And James and the kids did put balloons around downstairs before I got up in the morning.  I don’t know what I wanted, I guess maybe a bit more free time and not having to cater to everyone all day...I know one day it will be like that again, and by then I’ll probably miss having everyone to cater to, but I guess the grass is always greener on the other side!

Tonight James and I are sort of making up for our lack of date on my birthday, and my parents are going to look after the kids, so I’m excited about that.  I think part of the issue is feeling like James and I never have time together and we almost never go out.  And I almost NEVER go out even without him.  The weather hasn’t been conducive to taking the girls out anywhere and with there being 2 of them it’s impossible to take them to the mall to wander around or anything like that.  I guess it’s just challenging sometimes, the situation we’re in.  I have a great time with the kids and they are DELIGHTFUL, I just wish we could get out more.  BUT I feel like spring is just around the corner, and then before we know it it’ll be summer again, and we’ll be able to be outside every day so I’m trying to just look forward to that.

Tuesday, February 03, 2015

A bunch of sickies

On Tuesday last week Emily started getting a bit of a sniffle.  By Thursday Andrew was starting to talk about a sore throat and not feeling quite right.  He wasn’t sniffling so I still took him to school, as they had a skating class that day and I didn’t want him to miss it if he didn’t have to.  I drive 4 of the kids so I also felt obligated to be there for that.  He was fairly miserable during skating and as the night when on he was starting to get more sniffly, to the point that on Friday we decided he should stay home from school.

By this point Margaret had a full fledged cold as well, and I wasn’t feeling so hot myself.  I started getting a sore throat and a feeling in my chest like I was going to get a cold soon.  I was feeling not-right, yet the cold itself didn’t seem to be hitting me as head on (no pun intended) as it did for the kids.  And at that point James was pretty much fine.

On Saturday we were all feeling under the weather, and James was starting to get a scratchy throat and felt extra tired.  Andrew missed a class he’s taking at the rec center because we didn’t think it would be fair to the other kids if he went.  He was feeling so bad that he actually admitted there was no way he could have gone, which for him really means something.  I’m noticing actually, now that he’s a little older, that cold bugs bother him a bit more than they did when he was a ‘baby.’  Maybe it’s because he can be more vocal about it, but I think there’s more to it than that.  He never seemed phased by colds before, but this time I found him often saying things like, ‘Uhhh, I HATE getting a cold, this is the WORST’!  

On Sunday James’ bio dad and sister came for a visit.  We hadn’t seen his dad since Sept 2013 (he lives in Ontario) and his sister since last summer, so it was kind of a big deal to be having a visit with them.  They were willing to risk it despite all the colds everyone had.  Well I started to feel more and more wretched as the day went on, managed to get through the visit (which was great, I really love that side of the family, they’re so down to earth and genuine and I wish they lived closer) but I felt like I had the flu because the intensity of achiness and exhaustion was way more than a cold, and I started to feel really nauseous as well.  I ended up throwing up all my dinner a few hours after our guests left, and then in the middle of the night I was up barfing again.  So it was definitely the flu.  James worked from home on Monday and it’s a good thing, because by mid afternoon I felt like I was dying I was so exhausted and achy, so I was able to go to bed for about an hour and a half.  The rest definitely helped.  I still didn’t feel well, but not as unwell as before.  I started to feel like the worst of the flu bug was over.

Andrew stayed home from school that day, again, because his cold seemed no less severe than when it had started.  He was (and still is) coughing like crazy and had (and still has) a really stuffy nose.  We got the kids to bed and just settled into a movie when I heard Andrew having a cough attack, and even though it wasn’t unusual since he’d had the cold for days already, I got this ‘sixth sense’ sort of feeling (mother’s instinct, maybe?) that he was feeling particularly unwell in that moment and I was feeling so bad for him, and no sooner did I think how I wished I could just feel it for him because I hated the thought of him being sick, he was crying out that he had thrown up in his bed.

Luckily he barfed all over his blankets and managed to not get any on the carpet!  That was a plus, because omg it was hard to believe he had that much in him.  He also threw up ALL OVER THE BATHROOM, like, entire bathroom floor, all over the toilet seat, on the step to the bathtub, it was crazy!  James gagged just bringing me the paper towels, and it WAS nasty but I was thankfully feeling better enough that I was able to get it all cleaned up and disinfected and got a bath run for Andrew to get into.  He was pretty shaken up when he kept throwing up, because he’s only been sick like that maybe 3 times in his entire life, but as soon as he was finished throwing up he said, ‘I’m way too sick to go to school, in fact I probably won’t be able to go for quite a while.’  LOL

He was chattering away in the bath and I figured he must have got everything out that he needed to, so once we had fresh sheets and blankets and a new pillow on his bed he got in and was sound asleep immediately and I noticed he wasn’t coughing as much through the night after that.

I was so worried the girls and James would end up getting the flu, too, but so far they’ve steered clear.  They all have variations of the cold, but no flu.  Fingers crossed it stays that way.  While it’s a ‘good’ thing that I got it first so I can look after everyone else, I am also still fighting it and find that by midday I am totally wiped.  I also have almost no energy to do much of anything, so I feel like everything I need to get done or stay on top of is sliding and I’m really going to have my work cut out for me at the end of all of this.  It’s hard enough having a household of 5 to care for at the best of times, but when we’re all sick, it’s so exhausting, and I wish so much that I had some outside help but the reality is we can’t ask anyone to help us when we know how likely they are to get our germs.

My birthday is on Thursday and now that my flu is almost gone I’m feeling like the cold is about to hit me head on.  I guess that will be my birthday present this year?!  I’m feeling a little bummed that there’s a good chance James and I WON’T get to go out for dinner together just the two of us, as planned, because I don’t see how we’ll all be that much better by then.  I can’t help but feel sorry for myself that my 35th birthday will basically be like every other day of the week, only with the added ‘bonus’ of a cold.  Something doesn’t seem fair about that!  My past few birthdays have felt pretty un-birthday-ish due to my current situation, and I was hoping this one would feel more special, but I’m trying to remind myself that ultimately it’s just another day and it’s not like I need anything major to happen!  Maybe one day James and I will get a date night again… =S

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Talking up a storm

Margaret and Emily have really started asking questions in the past week more than ever.  Emily repeats a lot of what is said to her in the form of a question.  Margaret will say, ‘Where you goin’ Mommy?’ and I’ll say, ‘We’re going to get groceries.’  Emily will then pipe in, ‘We goin’ to get go-shees?’  Or, ‘I love you, Emily!’  ‘You love me?!’  It’s pretty cute.

A funny one that I wouldn’t have expected is that every time a song comes on they ask, ‘What’s this song called?’  When we were getting the go-shees this morning after dropping Andrew off at school, they wanted to know the name of every song that came on, and I hadn’t heard some of them so I either took a guess or said, ‘I don’t know!’  They get a bit thrown off by the ‘I don’t know’s because they really want an answer, and expect that I should be able to give one!

My aunt and uncle came over in the afternoon today for a couple of hours.  It had been a month since our last visit with them and they could really see a difference in the girls.  Usually I don’t notice their changes as much because I’m with them all the time so it all seems a bit more gradual (except not really, because I definitely notice that they change quite rapidly!)  But this time I can definitely say I’ve noticed huge changes in them lately, too.

Their hair is getting long, but I wish there was more I could do with it.  It looks ADORABLE in pig tails or a single ponytail but they will only keep hair ties in for about 5 minutes, and barrettes and other cute hair accessories, forget it.  So it always looks as if I’ve done nothing with their hair, when in actual fact I DO brush it, and I WANT to do cute braids and styles with it, but they’re not interested.  I’m really excited to one day get to braid their hair for them, though.  I loved braiding my dolls’ hair when I was a kid, and I’m pretty good at it if I do say so myself.  Now I have 2 human dolls, I just need to convince them that sitting and getting their hair done is fun!

Andrew was so much better behaved today, and I made a point of being in a better mood myself.  All around, it made for a much better day for everyone.  The grocery shop this morning was a bit much, though.  It’s exhausting.  I wanted to get a fair bit of stuff so I pushed the girls around in their stroller, and pulled the cart behind me.  It’s not ideal, not even close.  Luckily we went at a time that’s not too busy, but it’s still just not something I would do if I didn’t have to.  I can’t always wait till evening because I’m SO tired by that point, adding a grocery shop to the end of the day seems almost torturous if I don’t have enough energy for it.  Sometimes it’s nice to get the time out on my own, and I look around at other things, too, so it doesn’t feel like ALL I did was get groceries.  But taking the girls and making sure they’re entertained/fed/happy and then getting them home, unloading everything and putting it away...it’s a lot.  I never used to think twice about grocery shopping, and there was a time when I even ENJOYED it and looked forward to the experience, but that’s not really the case these days.  At least it’s done for now, and other than a few things we’ll be stocked for a while.

Monday, January 26, 2015

The day improved

The day improved after nap time.  The girls ended up sleeping for almost 3 hours - wish I’d known they’d do that as I’d have been a bit more productive initially, knowing I would still have time to rest, but still, it was a welcome break.  I managed to sleep off and on for probably about 45 minutes, which definitely helped me get through the afternoon.

When they got up I decided on a whim that we’d go for a visit to my parents’ place after school.  I was feeling bad about how things had been with Andrew in the morning and how sad he seemed when we left him at school (he said Margaret kept waking him up last night and he was tired) so as a treat I picked up some fries from a restaurant nearby that I know he likes.  I was apprehensive to do it because it meant taking both girls in with me and waiting and I wasn’t sure how that would go since we never really do that, but they were so well behaved.  I barely ever put them in the stroller anymore so I just held their hands and we walked in and they were good about staying near me.  I’m still wary at times as they’ll just suddenly rip away from my grasp and take off when I least expect it (despite how often I try to teach them it’s not ok...they don’t do that often but in only takes once so it still worries me).  But it worked out well, and Andrew was not only in a better mood when we picked him up, but he was also SUPER excited to have French Fries for a treat AND to be going to my parents’ house - it was the best day ever in his mind!

We hung out there for quite a while, then walked down to the little park near their place and the kids played for a few minutes before we headed home.  I’d made a crockpot creamy tomato soup for dinner (which worked out, I might change it a little bit if I were to make it again but overall I was happy with it) throughout the day, and once again it was SO NICE to come in the door and know that dinner was pretty well ready to go, I just made a few grilled cheese sandwiches and we were set!  I’d also set the table before we went out so it was one less thing I’d have to think about, which I was also glad I’d done.

My plan was to go do a bit of a grocery shop tonight but I just don’t have it in me to do it, so I’m taking a little break instead, and the groceries can wait till tomorrow.

I just need a little time

The shelf is up in the laundry room and now I’m wishing I’d got one when we first moved here!  Which was 2 years ago today.  Wow, in some ways I can’t believe we’ve been here for 2 years but in others it feels like we’ve been here way longer.  It’s definitely home, and doing these little updates here and there makes it feel even homier, and a little bit new!

So far today I’ve been feeling really overwhelmed.  I think part of it is that I didn’t really get out at all over the weekend.  Yesterday James and Andrew were out for most of the day to attend a concert that the mil was in, so I was at home with the girls and yes we could have gone for a walk I guess, but without the van I wouldn’t be venturing far.  I think I’m feeling sad that James and I pretty much never get to go out just the two of us.  Later this week he’s accompanying me to my doctor’s appointment, and that’s pretty much the biggest outing we’ll have had together in a while.  How sad is that?!  He said we should plan something for my birthday (Feb 5) but how sad is it, too, that the next plan we’re able to make is for a date that’s still nearly 2 weeks away?!  I really wish we had more help so we could have more time just the two of us.  But I’ll stop dwelling on it because it gets me feeling way too overwhelmed if I let it.

The kids were acting up again this morning and I feel like I am going to lose it the more frustrating they become.  Sometimes I feel like NOTHING I do is good enough, even when I feel like I’ve done something extra to make them happy, at least one of them whines and is miserable.  I am kind of getting to the end of my rope.  I need a break!  I reeeeally need a break.  I need some time to get stuff done that I want to do, because I SHOULD occasionally get time to work on projects for me without kids freaking out about it, no?  I don’t think it’s selfish to feel that way.  I need to feel like I’m my own person, but there are days (like this one) where I kind of feel like all I am is a slave to everyone around me, and I’m tired of being treated badly when all I’m doing is everything for everyone else!

End rant.

I think I’ll try to nap now that the girls are sleeping.  It won’t be long before Margaret is up again.


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